New year, new challenges.

2017It’s been a busy and social start to the new year.  January is always social, but this January in particular has been jam packed with fun events and long overdue catch ups with friends who returned home for the Christmas break.  It was one of those years where everyone descended on Perth for some sunshine and relaxation and it really was a treat to have so many friends home (from London, New York etc) and to get to attend the beautiful wedding of Josie and Cam.

After two weeks of lunches, champagnes, beach swims, dinners, wedding festivities, birthday celebrations and a trip down south, I thought I would feel completely rested and relaxed.  And while I was definitely relaxed, I returned to work for 2017 pretty exhausted.  Then I realised – my body simply can’t do what it used to do.  For the first time in many months I was having consecutive late nights and indulging in a few sneaky alcoholic beverages along the way.  Not one to completely break my routine, I was also pushing it in the exercise stakes.  Silly season indeed.

Now that I’ve been back in my regular routine for the last little while,  I’m feeling mostly pretty good.  Except that I’ve had some niggly throat/ cough/ chest thing going on since I was down south a few weeks ago.  In my past life, something like a cough and a bit of chest tightness wouldn’t worry me.  Now though, my mind wanders to all the worst case scenarios of what could be going…

I was told several times last year that while treatment has its own challenges, the time that cancer patients/ survivors find most difficult is the time after treatment when appointments stop and you’re left to fend for yourself and figure out how to go about your life.  I must say, while I am grateful to be feeling well and I am so happy that I am able to get on with my life, I would be lying if I said that I didn’t freak out about something or other most days.  There’s some serious anxiety that comes with this post treatment period.  I’m trying to live normally, but I don’t even really know what that means anymore.  Trying to get on with life, but that’ll all be disrupted again in a few months for more surgery.  Trying to be happy and stay in the moment and trying not to sweat the small stuff.  But it’s all frankly just a bit weird.  And still after all the time that has passed, I am still emotional and even a little fragile.

All I can hope for is that as the days, weeks and months tick by that it all gets a little easier and a little more normal.  I’ve always liked a challenge, so I’m totally up for taking on the challenge of living a more normal year and generally having a happier year than last year.  Onwards and upwards.

Happy new year to you all.  Here’s to a better year for everyone.

Krissy xx

 

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